I admit to being a little puzzled by this new item from Mont-Bell. I understand that hot air rises, but I really don’t think that this insulated hiking skirt would be very efficient at keeping your naughty bits warm. Maybe it’s meant to be paired with tights or insulated underwear.
I also noticed that this is apparently a unisex item. Mont-Bell marks their items as male or female only, and this wasn’t marked as either. Not that I’ve got anything against guys wearing skirts to hike in. After all, the Scots did it for hundreds of years, and nobody messes with them.
…well, except the English.
I guess this could make potty breaks easier for hikers, especially for those who don’t have the proper equipment. I’m just not sure it’s the right gear for any kind of weather that requires thermal insulation. Of course, I could be wrong. I’ve seen the “prostitots” outside the local cinema gigaplex in below-freezing weather wearing miniskirts and faux-fur wraps, not shivering despite the extreme cold. Maybe the key is keeping your core warm and just letting the rest get frosty.
I think I’ll let someone else test that theory. I prefer to keep everything nice and toasty, even if it means a little more trouble answering certain calls.
Speaking of prostitots, I read this story about Jamie Lynn Spears surprise pregnancy announcement. This is one of those “onions of wrongness” that I’ve discussed in the past. The ones where you can continue to peel away layers of “that just ain’t right” only to find more layers underneath. First, she’s the star of a hit Nickelodeon show. And it’s not just any show. It’s Nickelodeon’s best-rated show. I’m sorry, I thought we were supposed to be worrying about Spongebob Squarepants making kids gay. 
It seems we should have been more worried about “Zoey” making girls promiscuous. Didn’t see that one coming, did you Dr. Dobson? Second, Jamie Lynn (little sister to Britney) is only sixteen years old. It gets better. Much better. The father is nineteen years old, and Jamie Lynn met him in church. I can hear it now…
“This one time, in Bible Camp…”
The matriarch of the Spears dynasty, Lynne Spears, was about to release a book on Christian parenting. I’m sure it will look great next to Dr. Phil’s book on dieting and Woody Allen’s book on the joys of adoption. I think her publisher is also working with Michael Vick on a series of books about pet care. Unfortunately, the book has been put on hold while they figure out how big a rug you have to sweep a pregnant teenage daughter under and still call yourself “conservative.”
If only it ended there! But no, there’s more. Jamie Lynn says she “known Aldridge [a.k.a. Baby Daddy] for years and began dating him in high school.” She’s sixteen years old! She hasn’t been in high school “for years”. By “dating him in high school” she means when he was in high school and she was in middle school i.e. when she was fourteen! I’m sorry, I just got this really icky feeling. Gotta take a moment…
OK, so where was I? Oh yeah! She said she intends upon raising the child in Louisiana “so it can have a normal family life.” Something tells me that “location, location, location” is not the most important thing guiding this child’s eventual outcome.
Honestly, this child would have a better chance at a “normal family life” if he or she was adopted by Brangelina. It’s not like me to rant about celebrities and their messed-up lives, but the potential for schadenfreude was just too great here. We keep putting these celebrities — especially the teenage celebrities — on a pedestal, and they will eventually fall. I don’t think this one was particularly surprising. With her older sister setting such a shining example, it’s a wonder it took this long.
